Do you know a Debby or Dougy Downer or dare I even ask, are you one? Think of someone you interact with whose conversation often revolves around their problems. These people focus on the negative side of things and are usually complaining or gossiping. When we are around Debbra or Douglas, we feel less happy and sometimes even participate in their drama. What’s really happening is they are stealing our positive energy. By the end of the conversation, they likely leave feeling energized while we are left feeling depleted.
When we are exploring our dreams and trying to build a new life, it’s really important to be around supportive people who have a positive outlook.
The best thing to do when we encounter someone right out of Negativeville, is to remove ourselves from the situation. If you absolutely can’t, then here are some tips on how to makes things more manageable.
1. In order to preserve your energy, envision yourself protected by a big glass bubble, and the negative comments bouncing off your bubble like little pebbles. Don’t let anyone burst your bubble!
2. You can sympathize with them without participating. Don’t get sucked in. Don’t try to resolve their problems, simply acknowledge you’ve heard them. Respond instead of reacting and move on.
3. When the person is complaining, ask them “What would you like instead?” This will help the person to shift gears and hopefully look at their situation from a fresh perspective.
4. Allow, allow, allow…we’re all here to learn our own lessons. When I’m confronted with this type of person, I simply think to myself “So and so is on their own path”. Then mentally send them some love and let it go. I’m therefore allowing them to move along their own path.
We all have a little Debby or Dougy Downer in us. Try to identify when you are behaving this way and think about how you are affecting others. What can you do to improve?