I was chatting with a friend earlier this week about what it means to actually set boundaries ❤️ I think there’s a little more to it…

At first glance, we tend to think it means standing up for ourselves with our words. Telling people how we feel and why.

And while I totally agree with this and that it absolutely is warranted sometimes…

The reality is that it doesn’t always feel safe.

The other person may not want to hear what you have to say or want to take responsibility for their own part.

Even if you are approaching the situation with, “I AM…” statements, like we teach our kids.

We might share our feelings, and it might just land flat.

Our even worse in a reaction that leads to confrontation and more drama.

So how do you know when it’s time to say something or time to walk away?

The answer might just be to distance yourself instead.

Or pick your battles and accept where someone is at, and let it go.

And this is why setting boundaries doesn’t always involve words. You might take an action, like distancing yourself from that person, or you might start saying no to them more in general.

Here is what I’ve found to work in order to decipher:

  1. How is this relationship important to you? What purpose does it serve? It’s helpful to get clear on this first.
  2. Is it safe to share your feelings? Will open communication be respected?
  3. Is taking a stand for yourself necessary? Maybe this involves speaking to a third party about the situation instead.
  4. Are you taking something personally? It’s always great to get clear on our own triggers and reactions.
  5. Is taking a night to sleep on it warranted? Sometimes it’s hard to see clearly in the moment.
  6. Try asking the universe to see it clearly.
  7. And then the most important one of all ~ follow the guidance. It might be different each time 💛