I’ve learned that as women we love to give. We want to help people and this comes naturally to a lot of us. Let’s face it; it’s a lot harder than receiving. As entrepreneurs and business owners, this shows up with potential customers and clients. We tend to want to over-serve, and do whatever is necessary to provide guidance and assistance, regardless of how much time it takes us. This shows up in the form of not having a contract signed, letting someone continue when they can’t make a payment and even having lengthy sales conversations.
In reality what we are doing is telling the universe we don’t value our time or needs. Our immediate needs being our cost of living and business expenses. Our bigger needs / wants being creating the life we really want. If we don’t stand-up for ourselves, who will?
When you spend more time than is necessary with someone, the reason tends to be because you are trying to fill a void within yourself. Trying to fix them and their situation is about you wanting some type of validation. This is not the right place to be operating from if you really want to serve your clients. They have to want to change and fix their situation more then you want it for them.
What I’ve realized is that when you operate from this over-giving place, it sets off some type of signal or rather energy to the other person on a subconscious level. Whenever I have done this in the past, and I repeat whenever, the person either doesn’t end up signing-up or they can’t afford to continue on. Something always happens causing them to back-out. I share this with you with the intention of helping you recognize this issue and stopping it from happening right away. It does not serve you or them in the long run. Value yourself and your time more then this. If you notice that you are putting in more then 50% of the effort, it’s time to move on. There are lots of people ready and willing to do what it takes to work with you.
When you start valuing yourself more, you will notice that the type of person you start to attract will also change. You will not have to convince people to sign-up with you. They will be ready and willing to what it takes, and you will have a much healthier relationship. Set some boundaries and watch what happens.