While I was in Canada last week helping my Mom after her surgery, I got a call from Jude’s pediatrician telling us there was an abnormality with his EKG results, and that he needed an Echocardiogram. The doctor said it was just slightly abnormal, but it happened to pertain to the condition he was worried Jude might have, which had sparked the idea for the EKG to begin with. The condition where kids just drop dead on the sports field with no apparent symptoms. This was all in relation to Jude’s recent fall where he sustained a concussion. Since he got up right away after falling on his head, got winded and then passed out, they wanted to check his heart just to be safe. His case wasn’t straightforward – nothing ever is with this little guy 🙂 So…even though the doctor told me not to freak out, I was of course freaking out. After I got off the phone, my mind immediately went to community fundraisers for the millions we would need for his lifelong care to people dropping off casseroles for us to eat. That was interesting and talk about old thought patterns resurfacing 🙂 After calming down I got out the Course in Miracles (ACIM), and felt much better.
I asked for divine guidance to be led to the passage that would help me the most and this is the lesson I turned to:
I am one Self, united with my Creator, at one with every aspect of creation, and limitless in power and in peace.
This is where the true work lies. Shifting to this perspective no matter what is going on around us.
We fortunately were able to get Jude an appointment the very next day, which happened to coincide with my flight home. Gotta love the care we are so fortunate to have here and we also got the results that exact same day. His heart is 100% healthy. Phew.
If I hadn’t read that passage in ACIM (combined of course with a ton of personal development work), I would have been an anxious hot mess the entire plane ride home like I would have been in the past. The anxiety would have consumed me. Instead I reminded myself over and over of the passage and Buddha’s quote (that I just “happened” to post online a few days earlier). That brought me peace and I knew Jude would be fine, regardless of what the sonogram results were.
Does this mean I wouldn’t have freaked out again and even more so if he was diagnosed with something? No. And that’s okay. It’s more then okay to have human reactions when the people we love (and ourselves), go through something tough. But that’s what it really is about. It’s about LOVE. The entire time I was in limbo, with not knowing if he had something serious, I just thought I love him so much and want him to be happy. It would have been devastating if he could no longer play sports, but he would have got through it. The ACIM phase enabled me to keep the higher perspective that at the end of the day, he would be fine because of who he is on the inside. It was also a good lesson in not over identifying in any one area of our lives. I will be making sure he keeps up with other interests too so not to be so dependent on receiving joy from sports.
The bigger lesson for me though, was to honour this love and connection with my family and those who matter to me most every single day. To remember this is what it’s really about. Not all of the doing and constant achieving. It’s about connecting and loving. I would take it a step further and say it’s ALL that matters in ALL areas of our lives. In our relationships, our work, our finances and our health. It’s about facilitating love.
A coach I previously worked with called these types of heavier situations “drama”. Drama in the sense of getting caught-up in these bigger issues and letting them take us away from our bigger goals. Now I get where he was coming from with that, because we can definitely carried away with all of the details of what is going on. But I also think that perspective misses the mark a little. These “heavier” things are showing-up in life to remind us of what the truth is, that we do live on, and how to promote love and connection with others on a deeper level. It’s to encourage healing and love. Nothing that happens is neither good not bad, it just is. It’s our perspective that makes it one way or another.
Do we want to get caught-up in the details or the “fear” (which is what I would say the other coach was really referring to)? No. Because it’s not real at the end of the day. We all live on and are connected to something bigger then ourselves. When we get wrapped-up in the fear it’s all consuming and doesn’t serve us on a higher level. We believe this is the end. That death is real.
Do we want to have such a higher perspective of this world not being real so as to not care at all when something happens? No. There is no room for healing, connecting and loving at a deep level with that outlook either.
What we can do is remind ourselves of the truth, let ourselves feel how we feel (without judgment), and look at connecting with ourselves and others as deeply as we can.
Is this easy? No. It’s pretty hard to be honest. We have a lot of pre-programming and past hurts that prevent us from doing this easefully.
I do encourage you to ask yourself though: how can I make this easier? What do I need? What is the truth?
This is where the true work lies. We’re just a shift in perspective away from a miracle. The ultimate miracle being peace. Live, love, laugh as they say.
I love you all tons xo