There are a lot of heavy things happening in our world right now with human rights, equality and justice. How have you decided to handle it? How are you showing-up communicating, or maybe not communicating? In today’s article I share why not to take the bait, but not to be complacent either. I hope these 4 tips are helpful. We are all in this together 🙂
I hope you have a beautiful weekend! As I celebrate my 41st birthday this Sunday, I am grateful for all of you and the life I get to live. Thank-you all for being a part of this community xo
One of the reasons I try not to get too involved in bigger issues, is I can get easily caught-up in the drama of it all. As soon as I sink my teeth into something not being fair, I’m done. I’ve taken the bait and will fight like no other. Get all fired up, angry and not in a good energy.
I was sharing with the kids the other day how I argued my way out of an F in university. I picked-up a Classics 101 class in my final year to round out my schedule, and completely flunked a paper that was worth most of my grade. I argued with the professor for a good 3 hours on why that shouldn’t have been the case. Yelled, cried, pulled out all of the stops. I really didn’t believe I deserved it and wasn’t taking no for an answer. I was doing well in school, was in my final year, and knew very well how to write a paper. Furthermore I had my fellow history major friends edit my paper! You can see how I get passionate about such inequalities. The professor conceded in the end, allowing me to rewrite the paper. I did, and he of course gave me no more then what I needed to pass the class.
I still have nightmares to this day that I didn’t actually graduate university.
But that psychoanalysis is for another day…
I know I would have been a great lawyer, but at what cost? And don’t get me wrong, we need lawyers and I am definitely thankful for them, but for me it would have eaten me alive. Constantly arguing would not have been good for my health.
This is why I avoid taking the bait. Getting too attached to an outcome isn’t healthy.
But sitting by on the sidelines isn’t great either. I feel disconnected and out of touch with what’s going on sometimes.
So how can we live somewhere in the middle? “Be in the world but not of it” as a wise person once said.
To not take the bait and get caught-up in the drama of it all but still feel like we’re doing something to make a difference?
Here are a few tips that have helped me that might help you too.
1. Try to see the bigger picture. Why is this showing-up? What is the lesson? What is the blessing in disguise? Everything that happens in life is either an opportunity for growth and healing, or to step further into fear and lack.. Which lens are you going to choose to see things through? I try as hard as I can to choose the former.
2. Do not attack someone else. This is the biggest and most powerful one. Who are we being if we just attack people verbally (or physically – yikes!) for their opinion? We tell our kids not to bully others, but then we do the same as adults. Allow people to be where they are. Allow yourself to be where you’re at. Most people don’t feel heard and then lash out. Let’s hear tone another and then offer our own thoughts in a respectful way.
3. Think about how you can positively make a difference. If making some kind of a change is near and dear to your heart, how can you make a difference in a positive and impactful way? As Mother Teresa once said, “I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”. Getting to the root cause of an issue is often the way to start. From there do what you can in your own life and community to see that change you want to see. Join forces with an organization that is creating the change you want to see, or create your own! The sky is the limit!
4. Above all else, behave the way you want to see others behave. Its counter productive to mock the mocker. Be bigger then that. Take the higher road. Focus on you and what brings you joy and a sense of accomplishment. Your actions speak louder then your words and you will inspire others to do the same. I loved what one of the late night talk show hosts said about Dr. Christine Blasey Ford ~ she has such a calm and kind demeanor, that she probably would have jump started your car in the parking lot after her hearing if you needed help. Just do you. Be the best version of you whenever you can and when we all come from that place, the world around us will shift.
Maybe the root cause of anything and everything is our thoughts…hmm