We enjoyed our time thoroughly in Tucson over Spring Break with family in from Canada, and Jay and I were also able to have a little staycation within our vacation! Our goal is to take a little time away just us at least once a year. This time we stayed right in the mountains at a resort and enjoyed a whole lot of hiking, down time and nice dinners 🙂 It was great!
This topic can be a tough pill to swallow. When we want success for our clients more than they do, they just won’t get the results. Read today’s article to learn how this impacts your energy and how to let it go, for as one door closes another opens 🙂
If we’re desperately trying to help someone who doesn’t really want our help, we’re putting out a lower energy. We’re attached in some way, shape or form to the outcome with the root cause being fear. We’ve stepped out of faith for whatever reason and into fear instead. Maybe we are worried about finances or wanting love / recognition on a deeper level, which is dysfunctional when we’re looking for it outside of ourselves. Both reasons are rooted in fear.
If you are invested in someone else’s growth more then 50% then they are, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If the other party isn’t at least 50% invested in their own growth, it means they just won’t be willing to do what it takes to be successful. If you are overinvested, you want it more for them then they want it for themselves and something else is going on for you at a deeper level – the need to fix others to gain love / approval, etc. Tough love I know and this is why it’s important to know what your core issue is deep down.
The problem is that you are going to bend over backwards, spending a ton of time and energy trying to help this person and expending far more energy then they will put in toward their own success. As much as we want to help people, it’s neither worth the time nor the energy for you. Help people who want to be helped. Does it mean you can’t help those who aren’t ready at all? No. You can recommend resources, share information that will be helpful, and do anything that feels reasonable and is respectful of your own boundaries around your time.
What happens if you don’t follow this guidance and help them on a deeper level anyway? You will end up feeling resentful and angry. Now you’ve spent all of this time and energy and they aren’t doing their part. They’re not showing-up and doing what they need to do in order to grow. You can’t understand why they won’t do what you have mapped out. Well, it’s because they were never really ready to begin with.
So how do you shift this? Well, identifying the behaviour early on is key. Notice when you seem to want it more for someone else then they want it for themselves. If you’re pushing for something and they’re backing away, leave it at that. Let them go. Let go of the attachment. For when you do, you will create the space for another door to open. It’s like hanging on to something so tightly with a clenched fist. You’re so focused on it you don’t see what else is going on around you. Once you finally let go and open it up, you feel less stressed, more calm and most importantly expansive. Give it a try 🙂
So go curious, and look at where your behaviour is coming from as mentioned earlier. Behind every behaviour is a positive intention / reason. On the surface it might be about wanting to grow your business and therefore thinking about money, which is really about freedom. It could be again that you fixing someone else, makes you feel better about yourself. Therefore, it’s about looking for love / acceptance. All reasons then lead back to the fear of not getting it, and thus attachment is created. Sneaky business right?!
Whether it’s one person or one organization at a time, I am committed to helping those who are ready to grow and change. And if they’re not, that’s okay too. It’s their right and I’ve been in that place before as well. We’re still all great people.
Amazing things happen when we let go of lower fear-based vibrations. Once again, what we put out we will receive back.
What can you let go of today in your business and life? What are you too attached to that is rooted in fear?