For the last couple of years, I have become increasingly aware of how much guilt is a part of my life and other people’s. I have spent a lot of time learning to recognize it when it shows up in my own life and not letting it interfere. It’s been a work in progress and continues to be, but is definitely A LOT better 🙂 I am much more comfortable standing up for what makes me happy and letting go of what others think. Here are some tips that will hopefully help you move past guilt and live life on your terms.
Number 1: Get clear on what you want & stick to it. By knowing what your priorities are in life it makes it easier to do the things that you love. By knowing this, it makes it easier to stand-up for yourself regardless of what others think. This is also liberating. Make a list of your top 5-10 priorities in life. Examples include; time for yourself, fun, family, career, etc. If someone asks you to do something and it’s not inline with your priorities, it’s much easier to say no confidentially.
Number 2: You can’t change other people. Everyone has their own issues. Keep this in mind and don’t take people’s responses to heart. Everyone has their own past, experiences and fears. This effects the way they see the world and how they react. It’s imperative to recognize this when you are dealing with other people. Be careful who’s opinion you listen to. Once you recognize this, their opinion will become less important.
Number 3: It’s okay to disappoint others. There is no way you can get everyone’s approval, so don’t even bother. Just like people have their own past, experiences and fears, they also have their own interests and dreams. No one is ever going to fully be on board with your plans because they are not theirs! All you can do when being true to yourself and following your own path, is to treat others with respect.
Number 4: Make you the priority. Above all else, make sure you are being true to yourself and are doing what makes you happy This might seem selfish at first, but just watch what happens when you do this. People end up wanting to be around you more because you are happier in general. You also end up giving other people the freedom to do what they love, and you become more tolerable of other’s wants & desires. How great is that?!
“Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of culprits, and the very magnitude of the crime, the best excuse for doing nothing.”
– Hannah Arendt