4 Traps That = an Ego Take Over!

What an amazing week settling back into work mode and getting into new routines for the kids post-move. I was even able to fit in a few walks along the beach! What a great way to start the day! Here is a picture of Roxy and I enjoying the early morning surf 🙂

Part of the work I do with my clients is helping them see when their ego has taken over, is dictating the decisions they make and therefore derailing their success. This happened earlier this week with a client; and it’s important for you to recognize when it shows up and how to not let it sabotage you when it does.

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The ego can be a crazy, controlling beast if you let it. This is the side of you that needs to be right, that likes to argue and can’t let things go. It’s the part of you that will talk you into being afraid and seeing fear when it’s just not real. It can show-up in the most obvious and also the sneakiest of ways. Here are a few that will help you start identifying it for yourself.

1. The need to be right. This can show-up in several different ways. It can involve a situation with a friend, your kids, as well as a situation in business. Your ego wants you to keep arguing and pursing a conversation until you’ve been deemed the “winner”, the “right” one. What a lost opportunity though for better communication and interaction with other human beings. Imagine if we all just walked around needing to be right all of the time! No fun. Remember the person with the most flexibility wins. How many times have you witnessed a conversation, or been involved in one, where people just won’t back down? It’s uncomfortable and not in any way positive. It doesn’t matter if the other person thinks you’re right or not. Look at what it’s doing to you on the inside when you behave this way. People are entitled to their perspectives, as are you. Just let it go…
2.  Fairness. Trying to make other people see how unjust a situation is. See this for what it really is. It’s a way to derail, distract and prevent you from doing what you really need to be doing in order to grow your business. I spent a lot of time thinking and arguing about what is fair and what is not in life. Thank goodness I didn’t become the lawyer I thought I wanted to be when I was younger, as this literally would have eaten me alive.
3.  Trying to see all of the steps! This is a big one. You don’t need to know each and every step that will enable you to reach your goals. That is the universe’s job. Trust me, the more you can leave the “how” up to the universe, the better. It has a far better plan for you then you can ever dream up for yourself. Stop resisting and start taking action on the opportunities in front of you now, and watch what else shows-up. Know that when you’re trying to see all of the steps first, it’s another way your ego designed to keep you stuck. It will literally prevent you from taking any action at all because you won’t see how to do it and give up.
4. Getting things perfect. Whether it appears as trying to play by the rules, get everything right, follow instructions, etc. – it’s your ego! It’s keeping you stuck by forcing you to try to get everything just right before you even get started. Don’t fall into this trap. It will stop you before you even get started. A wise mentor of mine once said, “there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.” It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s how you learn and grow. At the end of the day they’re really not mistakes anyway, just opportunities to learn. Stop caring what others think and focus on your mission. So go on, get going and get helping more people 🙂