As a recovering perfectionist myself, I have done a lot of studying on this topic. I am especially loving Brene Brown’s “Daring Greatly”. She talks a lot about how we live in a “not enough” society. Everything from parenting to our professional lives, it’s all about being perfect. But, no matter how hard we try it’s never good enough. We constantly feel bad about ourselves because we never measure up. We’re never good enough.
First, I’ve come to learn that perfection is deeply rooted in our childhood and upbringing. Perfection is really about getting someone else’s approval and love. If you struggle from perfectionism and want to figure out whom you’re trying to get approval from, go with the first person that pops into your mind. Your intuition is never wrong.
Second, the issue is that we live in a society of being praised for our accomplishments and good behaviour. We are rewarded with love when we’re good and achieving. It’s rare to be shown love for just BE-ing us. For who we are on the inside. Now we might not always make the best choices, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t good enough or worthy of love.
Third, in Brene’s book she talks a lot about shame and self-worth. Many of us don’t feel worthy enough unless we’re being perfect, therefore we never feel good enough because we are never perfect. I have done a lot of work in the area of self-worth with my clients, and I can tell you it always stems back to being shamed into not feeling good enough or worthy of love. This explains the constant do-ing and over achieving. That feeling that we have to do everything ourselves and can’t accept help. The constant high expectations we put on ourselves. Operating from a state of lack rather than abundance.
So this week I invite you to think about it from this point of view; you are enough. I am going to repeat it. YOU ARE ENOUGH.
What if you went through every moment of every day thinking that? You will probably feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders and can finally just start being You. The beautiful, real you 🙂
Watch your world change.